Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

[wobbles]

In light of the recent commotion surrounding a certain avatar - something Freudian psychoanalysts would describe (quite accurately) as penis envy (yes, such a term exists, you prudish plebeian you), I've come up with a proposal to help some of the more genitalia-obsessed, gonadally-oriented members of this forum to get their, to borrow a much maligned and excessively (ab)used vernacular, "KKJ" fix without running afoul of the forum sensitivities or aground altogether.

May I present, Euphemisms 101: the way to say it like you mean it, without really saying it at all!

Lesson 1: in the instance where the need to employ KKJ as a noun arises, try substituting KKJ with the highly refined, extremely sophisticated galea - which means "helmet-like". And we all know why the Nazi army ultimately lost the war now, don't we? Why, it's simply because they were all dickheads, with that galeiform (the adjective of galea) contraption that they wore on that noggin of theirs!

Example: "Wah, kenntona has a 9" KKJ when flaccid - but, it's always only flaccid" becomes "Local pole dancing stud requires help of Eurycoma longifolia (aka Tongkat Ali) to get his galea going!"

Lesson 2 will commence shortly, after admin has had time to digest the deluge of praise that will undoubtedly flood their message boxes, over this community-minded, public spirited quality post.

 

[MapleLeaf]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

I may have clicked "Like" but I am more confused than convinced.

 

[jonleeck]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Bro, can summarize in 1 sentence? now 6.30 nia! Cannot understand.oh even later I also cannot understand.
I guess u got yr point already. U dun want me to understand izzit?

 

[wobbles]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

I may have clicked "Like" but I am more confused than convinced.

All will be crystal clear once the rest of the lessons get underway.

I'm stressed out because MIL is visiting and will be planted like an acorn tree in the house for the next 2 to 3 weeks. My elder sister in law is also tagging along. This effectively makes it 4 women (MIL, SIL, wifey + maid) vs poor me...

Gotta de-stress a little otherwise, homicidal thoughts will go through my head again, and I'll be uttering galea, avian, pullet, rooster, kiwi, ostrich etc everywhere in public.

 

[jasonmaxima]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Hi wobbles, i like your proposal.... However, does it mean i have to wear a tux to attend such classes?

Many here though very rich and successful in their own ways.... Might not have the same vocabulary prowess as you. I for one cannot say i have extensive knowledge of medical terms of the human anatomy.

I much prefer Traditional, old skool, Direct to the point, simple things in life everyone can identify with nefarious synonyms.....

Its so much easier to use the word LP instead of genitalia, gonad, testicles etc etc..... LP can also refer to the BULL car which s2k is trying to sell on behalf of his friend, toto and ryan's track monsters respectively. Or even 'long play' Phonograph / gramaphone vinyl records?????

Neh neh in hokkien speaking terms might mean breasts, bust, bosom etc.... But the mammary glands within are credited with life nourishing breast milk, colostrum etc... Shouldn't they be celebrated? Just ask all mothers, fathers, etc..... In malay it refers to grandmother.....


When you see s_x... Is it six or sex? Both correct answers but one is deemed 'socially offensive'....

 

[wobbles]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Excellent proposal, bro jasonmaxima. My extensive sexperience of the human anatomy is actually gleaned and accumulated and polished and distilled from all the sex gurus here on this very same forum that I'm proposing to purify.

Your idea of using LP is an ingenious one, and warrants further consideration. I will convene a SMLJ LP committee (see, I'm learning from the best already) to actively discuss adopting a standardized lexicon of acceptable and recognized contractions. LP will definitely be at the top of the list.

Similarly, for contractions already in use but found to be offensive, ie the infamous KKJ, may I suggest we stimulate the word, and stroke it to a different level, effectively lengthening it from the small and shriveled "KKJ" to the manly and non-offensive "Kay Kay Jay" - after all, Kay is a sexy sounding name, and Jay, well, Jay Chou, Jay Lo, Jay Jay Lin... Need I say more?

 

[whymehor]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

谢谢你，我现很乱。。

 

[wobbles]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

谢谢你，我现很乱。。

Pat pat... dun be 乱. Lesson 2 (akan datang) will help clear things up. Teacher wobbles go prepare powerpoint slides first hor.

Do you need a toilet break to help decompress your bladder? (see, so polite in asking you if you need to empty your Kay Kay Jay) - sure no comprain one.

 

[jonleeck]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

oui! sum up in 1 sentence can?....

 

[C3P0]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

oui! sum up in 1 sentence can?....

Two words can sum it up liao:

kkj = Galea

 

[wobbles]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Two words can sum it up liao:

kkj = Galea

Brobot gets prize for being top student for this semester.

I give him voltage step down transformer from 240V to 120V ... less painful when piaking wall.

I da bro.

 

[wobbles]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Ahem.

So, while Lesson 1 established the technique of WORD SUBSTITUTION, Lesson 2 will require class participation to contribute to VOCABULARY BUILDING

Brobot summed up the first example very well...

KKJ = galea

But, KKJ can also be stroked, stimulated & lengthened to = Kay Kay Jay

What if we added color to the KKJ word? Quot Erat Demonstratum, KKJ then immediately becomes bluebird or bluejay (both are avian in nature, and a most delightful euphemism.

So, please, feel free to add in your own favourite similies for the forum's favourite word!

 

[kenntona]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

I think I could relate in tandem to Wobbles' proposition. Let me illustrate.

(1) Suggested way - got standard, long-winded but looks high-class way of solicitation:

Brushing back the curls from your famous brow,
Lingering over the prominent temple vein
Purple as Aegean columns in the dawn,
Calm now, I ponder how self-consciously
We must fornicate.
It is that sense of unseen witness:
Those mortals with whom we couple or have coupled,
Clinging to our swan-suits, our bull-skins,
Our masquerades in coin and shrubbery.

I would kiss you over they eyes till I kissed you blind;
If I could - if anyone could!
Then perhaps iin the dark you'd get what you want to find:
The solution that ever is much too deep for the imnd;
Dissolved in blood.....
That I am the hart, and you are the gentle hind.

Now stop carping at me! Do you want me to hate you?
Am I a kaleidoscope
For you to shake and shake, and it won't come right?
Am I doomed in a long coiton of words to mate you?
Unsatisfied! Is there no hope
Between your thighs, far, far from your peering sight?

(2) Current way - the straight forward Ah Beng way

Ai sio kan mai?

Which sounds better? It is like calling a toilet cleaner a "sanitary engineer." High class.

 

[wobbles]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Similarly, calling KKJ (so uncouth, so uncultured, so BMW.sg right now) "anaconda" is SO much classier!

Python, Big Snake, Cobra Grande ... SO SO SO much more atas.

Sure no comprain one!

 

[kenntona]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Another example of upping the decorum of this forum:

~ Instead of posting "ai kum mai", one should contemplate posting "would you not mind performing an act of fellatio on me?"

Quality lingo, atas presentation, and we have become a civilised world all of a sudden.

 

[wobbles]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Another example of upping the decorum of this forum:

~ Instead of posting "ai kum mai", one should contemplate posting "would you not mind performing an act of fellatio on me?"

Quality lingo, atas presentation, and we have become a civilised world all of a sudden.

Fwaaah! Professor KanaConta (Kenntona + Anaconda) has spoken! Class, prease pay attention!

 

[sherman0888]

Galea.....

 

[S2k]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

u want short form instead of kkj just say lj

 

[golilok]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

the title should read kkj talk hehe

 

[jasonmaxima]

Re: Quality Post - Upping Forum Decorum

Cock.... is referring to the male genitalia or male description of (Gallus gallus domesticus) domesticated fowl we consume at KFC, Boon Tong Kee, Wee Nam Kee, Margaret Drive Chicken Rice...etc etc....

Penis - 'my Pen is at home', wee wee, ladies pleasure stick...

Dick - cheney

Breasts - Ladies dairies, fun bags, life nourishing mammary glands containers

Testicles: Gentleman's sperm containers

Pussy: A rather attractive four footed feline animal

Fanny: a British word for a ladies pleasure cavern