Why? Well, if you've got time, there's a technical list long enough to make you break a considerable sweat just to get your head around some of it. But, for the moment, let's just say that the new M3 feels like the people who made it, created it for themselves. And they like to drive. Not helm, or pilot, or control. Not words that seem to indicate a lack of involvement; drive. And that makes it bloody good fun.
Fun. Slightly scary fun, for sure, but the new M3 manages to be a mixture of the M5 (technically impressive but slightly aloof in its warp-speediness) and the M Coupe (which has been criticised for the exuberant way it handles corners). This is a good thing.
Now we have a mid-sized saloon that is aggressive enough to really put a smile on yer face. If the M5 is too digital and the M Coupe a touch too analogue (and therefore a bit tiring) for some, then the M3 is right slap bang in the middle. A perfect marketing delivery from BMW, if nothing else.
But it really is hard to keep my cynical face on when the M3 does what it does so beautifully. Prejudice against BMW? Fair enough. But if you get out of this car without at least one thing that blows your mind, you have no mind to blow.
Getting on for 420 horses from a 90-degree V8 that revs to 8,400rpm. Six-speed manual, adjustable suspension (boingy to slam-solid at the touch of a button), adjustable throttle mapping, diff, traction control - you name it, you've got it.
It looks fab with that huge bonnet bulge and vents, the flared arches, the subtle but aggressive styling - imagine it in black. That carbon roof is actually carbon-fibre reinforced plastic, but still cool even when you know that.
One thing's for sure, you won't be able to de-badge a 335i, stick some wing mirrors and wheels on and have a faux-M3 - everything but the doors, bonnet lid and glass is different. And you really see it. The 335i Coupe made me think it was a little too cool for school; the M3 is just about right. It looks fast without being all wings and slots.
The engine is the powerplant of the year, no question. And it's an engine that Ferrari would be proud to have made. A loud, razor-sharp unit that seems to rev for ever... and ever... and ever. Individual throttle butterflies that give the kind of response you usually only get in a racing car, coupled with that rev-range, mated to that noise which changes every incremental revolution - it's not a lump of metal, it's an event.
0-62 in under five, limited to 155mph - the numbers are impressive but not startling. The way it drives is the startling bit. It's a driver's car, but one that's easy to drive slowly.
If you're useless, you can drive an M3 fast; if you're brilliant, you'll be able to wring the M3 out and still be impressed. That is a very hard dichotomous trick to pull off, and its one of the few cars that does it successfully.
It will be too hard with the EDC (electronic damper control) set to 'Sport' on British roads, but you can tune each element to your taste. Personally, I seem to get on better with everything at max setting (steering, power, response etc), but the suspension on one of the less firm settings. A bit of body roll helps me communicate with the car. Basically, I can go a bit slower, and feel like I'm really nailing it.
But it does go fast. Very fast. Steering is ultra-precise, the turn-in sharp but not extreme. Grip seemed a bit lacking on certain bits of these dusty Spanish roads we've been testing on, but I was laughing so hard that I didn't really care. Brakes felt great, but we found that BMW had stuck race pads in preparation for a hammering, so I'm going to suspend judgement.
It's not perfect, though. I'm not overly keen on the manual gearbox (SMG comes later, according to the BMW brass) - it could be faster and less wobbly, which is a shame. I think a car with this much performance can justifiably have a more aggressive-feeling gearbox, but the legions of WAGs that buy them might disagree.
The interior is a bit boring, and the fuel consumption is bloody awful (on the mountain roads I managed less than 15mpg - but the engine is just so addictive). It also costs £51,000, which puts a whole lot of other dream-machinery in sight.
It is brilliant, though. And that, for once, is not too strong a word. Roll on the TG Awards, I'm voting BMW.
