Happy Father's Day

[BlackCookie]

Re: Happy Father's Day

On Father's Day this year, I gave my Dad the worst present. I did not eat with him nor give him anything but made him watch me destroy my life with my barehands. I cannot understand his pain because I was going through my own grief. Dad was never someone who expressed his love for us very well. But I knew I could always run back to be Daddy's girl when life gives me lemons.

My Dad slogged his whole life for us just to make sure we have food on the table. We never could afford toys nor travel. I have never been to Disneyland in my lifetime. But I didn't have a deprived childhood at all.

Just a short anecdote - Dad left a family business due to differences. He had to work as a delivery man through Christmas. I must have been around 10. His partner couldn't come along so he brought me along to help him with maps and directions. In those days, streetdirectory wasn't a dotcom. We were delivering hampers from house to house. I looked at the happy kids in the brightly lit houses with tons of presents waiting for them to unwrap, I felt really sad about my life but I held back my tears. If anything, my tenacity and stubbornness is just like my Dad. Pride wouldn't let us crumble. Dad didn't need me to read the maps nor did he need a little girl to say Merry Christmas to people collecting hampers. He wanted to spend time with me. Something I didn't understand until I grew up.

Due to the nature of his job, he underwent this surgery a couple of years back and has been taking life easy. These days I try to take him out for meals but communication is still limited. I would like to do more for him but there's nothing I can do for him that will even be enough to pay back what he did for me. He gave his life to my brother and I. I need to constantly remind myself that I need to do everything for him with all my might. I'm so apologetic now that I have just broken his heart yet again.

 

[seanskye]

Re: Happy Father's Day

Treasure him and do more while you can. No one lives forever. Even till today, more than a decade on, I still live regretting why I didn't do more for my late father.

On Father's Day this year, I gave my Dad the worst present. I did not eat with him nor give him anything but made him watch me destroy my life with my barehands. I cannot understand his pain because I was going through my own grief. Dad was never someone who expressed his love for us very well. But I knew I could always run back to be Daddy's girl when life gives me lemons.

My Dad slogged his whole life for us just to make sure we have food on the table. We never could afford toys nor travel. I have never been to Disneyland in my lifetime. But I didn't have a deprived childhood at all.

Just a short anecdote - Dad left a family business due to differences. He had to work as a delivery man through Christmas. I must have been around 10. His partner couldn't come along so he brought me along to help him with maps and directions. In those days, streetdirectory wasn't a dotcom. We were delivering hampers from house to house. I looked at the happy kids in the brightly lit houses with tons of presents waiting for them to unwrap, I felt really sad about my life but I held back my tears. If anything, my tenacity and stubbornness is just like my Dad. Pride wouldn't let us crumble. Dad didn't need me to read the maps nor did he need a little girl to say Merry Christmas to people collecting hampers. He wanted to spend time with me. Something I didn't understand until I grew up.

Due to the nature of his job, he underwent this surgery a couple of years back and has been taking life easy. These days I try to take him out for meals but communication is still limited. I would like to do more for him but there's nothing I can do for him that will even be enough to pay back what he did for me. He gave his life to my brother and I. I need to constantly remind myself that I need to do everything for him with all my might. I'm so apologetic now that I have just broken his heart yet again.

 

[The Guardian]

Re: Happy Father's Day

Didn't mean to stir this up, blackcookie.
My bad.

It's same for me but I'll cut it short. My late father worked on board a cruise liner. Hardly see him, not to mention meals gathering.
21st Dec 2006, he asked me to pick him up from WTC because my bro was back in town. At 2.30am of 1st Jan 2007, I received a call that he had passed away due to a heart attack. I was devestated. What came back to Singapore was a cold body instead.
No good bye, looking after, nothing and he is gone forever.

Till now, I'm still kicking myself for not doing enough on my part.
So, I'm now making it up with my kids. No excuse for not spending enough time with your love ones, regardless of work commitments.

Take care.

 

[wobbles]

Re: Happy Father's Day

I never really knew my father.

When I was young, he'd be long gone, headed out to work before I even got out of bed, and it would be past my bedtime before he returned. What I knew of him was from the stories that our mother would tell us: that he was an honest, hardworking man, holding down two jobs to build a better life for the children. While I never saw him, I respected him and loved him from afar. He was my hero, the man that made everything possible, the one that righted all the wrongs.

All that hard work paid off, because the family's financial lot improved. By the time I was in my tweens & early teens, my father had moved from working 2 jobs to running a successful company. I still saw very little, if any, of him. Because, while he no longer needed to slave away from dawn till dusk, he got himself a mistress to go with his new found success. And while my mother would still tell me stories about his sacrifices and how good a man he is; what my own eyes told me made mother's stories a lot less real than they seemed, compared to when I was younger.

As I graduated into a young adult, I saw even less of him. I busied myself with my studies, while he busied himself with his growing business empire and the other myriad women that came with his growing wealth. His original family became a bit of an afterthought – he'd come home whenever he remembered us, or whenever he felt like it. My mother tried to keep up with her stories, but even she ran out of things to lie about.

Now, I am an adult in my own right. My mother had long since passed away - and for many years, there have been no stories of my father told to me. Do I miss my father? Will I miss him when he’s gone? I can’t miss what I never experienced, I can’t long for something I never knew I lost. Neither do I hate him – I wasn’t brought up to hate; and I certainly can’t hate a stranger I hardly know anything about.

I’m happy to have read the touching stories of many wonderful father-son relationships shared by so many other families. It goes to show that not every father is as big a failure as mine is, and that there are many good fathers out there working hard to provide a home and hearth to their loved ones. I’m touched to learn how the sons and daughters of these fathers treasure the time they have together – and for some, in retrospect, long for more time to spend with their fathers.

I don’t belong to this lucky, happy group. But, I don’t begrudge them.

Ironically, my father’s absence taught me many important lessons. He taught me to be there for my own family, my own children – because I remember the pain I felt when he was never there for my life’s milestones, and so I will not put my own children through the same pain. From his example, I know I will never betray my own marriage vows, no matter how successful I end up becoming. The lessons learnt from his life and the way he lived it will ensure that I avoid walking down the same path where there’s neither salvation nor redemption.

So, thanks for the life lessons, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.

________________________________________________________

WORK OF FICTION: Wobbles' Limpeh RIP'ed a long time ago, and Wobbles has no children hor. I just thought since everyone's writing such touching things about their fathers, I also wanna contribute

 

[Red_Bean_Bun]

Re: Happy Father's Day

I can empathize with your story ..... Got any half brothers / sisters ?

I got a few .....

I never really knew my father.

When I was young, he'd be long gone, headed out to work before I even got out of bed, and it would be past my bedtime before he returned. What I knew of him was from the stories that our mother would tell us: that he was an honest, hardworking man, holding down two jobs to build a better life for the children. While I never saw him, I respected him and loved him from afar. He was my hero, the man that made everything possible, the one that righted all the wrongs.

All that hard work paid off, because the family's financial lot improved. By the time I was in my tweens & early teens, my father had moved from working 2 jobs to running a successful company. I still saw very little, if any, of him. Because, while he no longer needed to slave away from dawn till dusk, he got himself a mistress to go with his new found success. And while my mother would still tell me stories about his sacrifices and how good a man he is; what my own eyes told me made mother's stories a lot less real than they seemed, compared to when I was younger.

As I graduated into a young adult, I saw even less of him. I busied myself with my studies, while he busied himself with his growing business empire and the other myriad women that came with his growing wealth. His original family became a bit of an afterthought – he'd come home whenever he remembered us, or whenever he felt like it. My mother tried to keep up with her stories, but even she ran out of things to lie about.

Now, I am an adult in my own right. My mother had long since passed away - and for many years, there have been no stories of my father told to me. Do I miss my father? Will I miss him when he’s gone? I can’t miss what I never experienced, I can’t long for something I never knew I lost. Neither do I hate him – I wasn’t brought up to hate; and I certainly can’t hate a stranger I hardly know anything about.

I’m happy to have read the touching stories of many wonderful father-son relationships shared by so many other families. It goes to show that not every father is as big a failure as mine is, and that there are many good fathers out there working hard to provide a home and hearth to their loved ones. I’m touched to learn how the sons and daughters of these fathers treasure the time they have together – and for some, in retrospect, long for more time to spend with their fathers.

I don’t belong to this lucky, happy group. But, I don’t begrudge them.

Ironically, my father’s absence taught me many important lessons. He taught me to be there for my own family, my own children – because I remember the pain I felt when he was never there for my life’s milestones, and so I will not put my own children through the same pain. From his example, I know I will never betray my own marriage vows, no matter how successful I end up becoming. The lessons learnt from his life and the way he lived it will ensure that I avoid walking down the same path where there’s neither salvation nor redemption.

So, thanks for the life lessons, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.

________________________________________________________

WORK OF FICTION: Wobbles' Limpeh RIP'ed a long time ago, and Wobbles has no children hor. I just thought since everyone's writing such touching things about their fathers, I also wanna contribute

 

[rattyunicorn]

Re: Happy Father's Day

.

Now, I am an adult in my own right. My mother had long since passed away - and for many years, there have been no stories of my father told to me. Do I miss my father? Will I miss him when he’s gone? I can’t miss what I never experienced, I can’t long for something I never knew I lost. Neither do I hate him – I wasn’t brought up to hate; and I certainly can’t hate a stranger I hardly know anything about.

I’m happy to have read the touching stories of many wonderful father-son relationships shared by so many other families. It goes to show that not every father is as big a failure as mine is, and that there are many good fathers out there working hard to provide a home and hearth to their loved ones. I’m touched to learn how the sons and daughters of these fathers treasure the time they have together – and for some, in retrospect, long for more time to spend with their fathers.

I don’t belong to this lucky, happy group. But, I don’t begrudge them.

Ironically, my father’s absence taught me many important lessons. He taught me to be there for my own family, my own children – because I remember the pain I felt when he was never there for my life’s milestones, and so I will not put my own children through the same pain. From his example, I know I will never betray my own marriage vows, no matter how successful I end up becoming. The lessons learnt from his life and the way he lived it will ensure that I avoid walking down the same path where there’s neither salvation nor redemption.

So, thanks for the life lessons, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.

________________________________________________________

WORK OF FICTION: Wobbles' Limpeh RIP'ed a long time ago, and Wobbles has no children hor. I just thought since everyone's writing such touching things about their fathers, I also wanna contribute

I feel you....

My father was also a figure i hardly knew.

In my adolescence, i always thought my father was the best because i always stole money from his wallet to spend and he acted like he didnt know.

Fast forward to after army years, he left me to carve out a career on my own. Now that is by no means wrong, but what infuriated me was when i was totally down and out, he chose to leave me for dead. Even when i was down to my last penny and bread was a luxury to me, he chose to flaunt his riches in my face by going to shop at boutiques and laugh at the misfortune i brought upon myself.

"Every parent in the world wants the best for their kid" certainly didnt apply to my parents.

Till this day i still hate him for being so selfish but on another hand, i thank him for letting me realize the only person i can rely on is my wife-to-be.
My old man has also showed me what a parent shouldnt be and that is forever etched in me.

 

[C3P0]

Re: Happy Father's Day

I feel you....

My father was also a figure i hardly knew.

In my adolescence, i always thought my father was the best because i always stole money from his wallet to spend and he acted like he didnt know.

Fast forward to after army years, he left me to carve out a career on my own. Now that is by no means wrong, but what infuriated me was when i was totally down and out, he chose to leave me for dead. Even when i was down to my last penny and bread was a luxury to me, he chose to flaunt his riches in my face by going to shop at boutiques and laugh at the misfortune i brought upon myself.

"Every parent in the world wants the best for their kid" certainly didnt apply to my parents.

Till this day i still hate him for being so selfish but on another hand, i thank him for letting me realize the only person i can rely on is my wife-to-be.
My old man has also showed me what a parent shouldnt be and that is forever etched in me.

Just curious: did he really "leave you for dead", or is there something else you didn't know or which he didn't tell you?
Because sometimes I can be very harsh towards my niece and not help her in something, all for her own sake.....but to her I must be heartless. (anyway what does she expect from a robot.)

 

[pengful]

Re: Happy Father's Day

On Father's Day this year, I gave my Dad the worst present. I did not eat with him nor give him anything but made him watch me destroy my life with my barehands. I cannot understand his pain because I was going through my own grief. Dad was never someone who expressed his love for us very well. But I knew I could always run back to be Daddy's girl when life gives me lemons.

My Dad slogged his whole life for us just to make sure we have food on the table. We never could afford toys nor travel. I have never been to Disneyland in my lifetime. But I didn't have a deprived childhood at all.

Just a short anecdote - Dad left a family business due to differences. He had to work as a delivery man through Christmas. I must have been around 10. His partner couldn't come along so he brought me along to help him with maps and directions. In those days, streetdirectory wasn't a dotcom. We were delivering hampers from house to house. I looked at the happy kids in the brightly lit houses with tons of presents waiting for them to unwrap, I felt really sad about my life but I held back my tears. If anything, my tenacity and stubbornness is just like my Dad. Pride wouldn't let us crumble. Dad didn't need me to read the maps nor did he need a little girl to say Merry Christmas to people collecting hampers. He wanted to spend time with me. Something I didn't understand until I grew up.

Due to the nature of his job, he underwent this surgery a couple of years back and has been taking life easy. These days I try to take him out for meals but communication is still limited. I would like to do more for him but there's nothing I can do for him that will even be enough to pay back what he did for me. He gave his life to my brother and I. I need to constantly remind myself that I need to do everything for him with all my might. I'm so apologetic now that I have just broken his heart yet again.

Don't be too hard on yourself. We do not plan to fail though some would say we failed to plan. But how to plan what you don't know? Whatever it is, I am sure things will work themselves out for you. One thing I know for sure, parents will always be on our sides no matter what right or wrong we did. I fail to understand this until I became a parent myself.

Don't lose faith in yourself!

 

[pengful]

Re: Happy Father's Day

This must be the most touching thread in this forum.

Yes, and no OT.

 

[rattyunicorn]

Re: Happy Father's Day

You know.... i asked myself too... is my father employing the dont give fish,teach the skills of fishing too.
I thought that must be the reason bcus it doesnt make sense that a dad wld be so vicious to let their kid suffer... but no, my old man is the type of "i've tolled hard and built everything i had from scratch and i dont see why you shall have the luxury to just stretch out your hand for money from me" kind of guy. Despicable imo... i wasnt asking for a few k to go out eat drink be merry...just a measly 50 bucks to last me the week... but to him that 50 bux is worth more than a son... bcus he's had it bad he shld understand it better than anyone not to let his son go through the same,no?

 

[C3P0]

Re: Happy Father's Day

You know.... i asked myself too... is my father employing the dont give fish,teach the skills of fishing too.
I thought that must be the reason bcus it doesnt make sense that a dad wld be so vicious to let their kid suffer... but no, my old man is the type of "i've tolled hard and built everything i had from scratch and i dont see why you shall have the luxury to just stretch out your hand for money from me" kind of guy. Despicable imo... i wasnt asking for a few k to go out eat drink be merry...just a measly 50 bucks to last me the week... but to him that 50 bux is worth more than a son... bcus he's had it bad he shld understand it better than anyone not to let his son go through the same,no?

I see. I guess your situation could be different. But don't bear too much hatred for him, not good for yourself and your family next time.

Btw are you a father too.....?

 

[rattyunicorn]

Re: Happy Father's Day

I see. I guess your situation could be different. But don't bear too much hatred for him, not good for yourself and your family next time.

Btw are you a father too.....?

Nope,not yet a father..
I dont bear hatred for my father... because he has shown me what bad examples are and what i shouldnt be when i become a father

 

[wobbles]

Re: Happy Father's Day

Nope,not yet a father..
I dont bear hatred for my father... because he has shown me what bad examples are and what i shouldnt be when i become a father

Good man. Remember what Yoda said: "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, that is the way of the Dark Side of the Force."

 

[Red_Bean_Bun]

Re: Happy Father's Day

I think he has a lesson for you in there somewhere.

Told my kids the same thing as what your dad said.

They started saving up for a rainy day.......then they wanted to talk to me about plans etc.

You know.... i asked myself too... is my father employing the dont give fish,teach the skills of fishing too.
I thought that must be the reason bcus it doesnt make sense that a dad wld be so vicious to let their kid suffer... but no, my old man is the type of "i've tolled hard and built everything i had from scratch and i dont see why you shall have the luxury to just stretch out your hand for money from me" kind of guy. Despicable imo... i wasnt asking for a few k to go out eat drink be merry...just a measly 50 bucks to last me the week... but to him that 50 bux is worth more than a son... bcus he's had it bad he shld understand it better than anyone not to let his son go through the same,no?

 

[wobbles]

Re: Happy Father's Day

I can empathize with your story ..... Got any half brothers / sisters ?

I got a few .....

Bro, I never really knew my father - he RIP'ed a long time ago. The above was a work of fiction based on bits and pieces of anecdotes I picked up from various sources. Having said that, I don't have strong memories of my father as I do my mother - the first paragraph of my essay, you know the bit about how my father worked from dawn to dusk - that was a bit of anecdote from my own true life story.

But, honestly, I'm not surprised that there are many fathers out there that do things that hurt their families - sometimes even without themselves knowing it. We men, by instinct, by nature, are animals, and domestication doesn't sit well with us. Unfortunately, our wild ways may leave the wrong impressions on our children - and that's why Osim advertises their Heavenly King massage chairs on Mother's Day, but on Father's Day, we get squat all - suck it in and take it like a man!

 

[simmi]

Re: Happy Father's Day

Missing dad in this moment, I had left my home 6 months before and I miss those caring moments. His love in everything, his concern about me.
Lots of love for mom and dad and thanks for sharing

 

[pengful]

Re: Happy Father's Day

Bro, I never really knew my father - he RIP'ed a long time ago. The above was a work of fiction based on bits and pieces of anecdotes I picked up from various sources. Having said that, I don't have strong memories of my father as I do my mother - the first paragraph of my essay, you know the bit about how my father worked from dawn to dusk - that was a bit of anecdote from my own true life story.

But, honestly, I'm not surprised that there are many fathers out there that do things that hurt their families - sometimes even without themselves knowing it. We men, by instinct, by nature, are animals, and domestication doesn't sit well with us. Unfortunately, our wild ways may leave the wrong impressions on our children - and that's why Osim advertises their Heavenly King massage chairs on Mother's Day, but on Father's Day, we get squat all - suck it in and take it like a man!

Bloody hell, you still OT this serious thread with a fiction! I still thought there is no OT.

 

[wobbles]

Re: Happy Father's Day

Bloody hell, you still OT this serious thread with a fiction! I still thought there is no OT.

Wei wei, I not OT leh... I did include a reference to a dad I barely knew in the first paragraph. The rest is a composite history of many such real life tales from various sources: friends, relatives, acquaintances.

You wanna read a real story, you'll have to go back to Mother's Day last year . That one, conspermed 100% real.

 

[rattyunicorn]

Re: Happy Father's Day

I think he has a lesson for you in there somewhere.

Told my kids the same thing as what your dad said.

They started saving up for a rainy day.......then they wanted to talk to me about plans etc.

Told my dad about my plans to start a business... he told me, no $... and proceeded to upgrade his car in the next couple of weeks.. /bangwall

 

[Meek]

Re: Happy Father's Day

Told my dad about my plans to start a business... he told me, no $... and proceeded to upgrade his car in the next couple of weeks.. /bangwall

Sounds like you feel entitled.

I never got a single cent after the day i graduated. My late daddy dearest, loved me so much but wants me to be in charge of my life not live on handouts.