Posted on Online Citizen:
The green field of Speaker's Corner at Hong Lim Park turned greener earlier this evening as a group of angry leaves gathered to protest the findings of the cause of the Orchard Road flood by Singapore's national water agency, PUB.
The leaves took issue with a portion of the report which said that the debris found choking the underground drain which resulted in rainwater spilling out onto the prime shopping district was mostly made up of vegetation.
Said a fuming leaf Mr Phil de Chloro, "For the past thirty years, my ancestors who grew on the trees along Orchard Road have been falling into the drains there and have been washed to sea without any problems. Why are we suddenly being singled out to be blamed for the millions of dollars lost in business?"
Another leaf who prefers to remain anonymous for fear of incineration disclosed that for the past six months, many of her green friends at Orchard Road had been complaining of the congestion in the narrow underground drain. The complainants have even approached the authorities with the problem but they have all been swept under the rug. They remained there till this day.
"Living under a rug is a terrible place for a leaf to be, " she wept.
The protesting leaves swore never to leave the park until the matter has been resolved, but within ten minutes of their gathering, police descended onto the park. A spokesperson for the police told this reporter that the leaves did not apply for a permit to protest at the park, and hence they are guilty of the offence of illegal assembly.
A brief but heated argument ensued when the leaves argued that their numbers are considerably less than the piles of leaves swept up daily by the town council cleaners and so can scarcely be considered an assembly.
The argument soon ended however when the police brought in a leaf blower and dispersed the crowd.
The unusual protest drew a sharp response from the Minister of Homeland Security who remarked that he would consider getting Parliament to pass a legislation to limit the number of leaves which make up a leaf litter to less than five.
